A Gleam of HOPE!

Today we had our first ultrasound of 2012! Every time I walk into Christie Clinic, I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. If there is any place that robs me of my hope, it is there. But today, for the first time since this horrific thing came into play, we felt HOPE. During the ultrasound, right away, the boys were quite the wigglers. There is still fluid in both babies, BUT the fluid has not increased. Their lungs, bladders, stomachs, kidneys, hearts, etc all seem to be functioning properly! Dallas is measuring at 25-26 weeks gestation and Carter is measuring at about 20 weeks. It is hard for them to know their exact weights because they go off of the measurements taken during the ultrasound. Because there is fluid, it throws off their measurements. So technically Dallas is weighing in at 2.6lbs and Carter is weighing in at 1.6lbs, but that isn't their realistic weight since the fluid has enlarged their abdominal measurements. Their heart rates were 140 & 150. We hadn't seen this sonographer since she initially found, what she thought, was the twin-twin-transfusion syndrome. We told her everything that had happened and all the confusion from different theories being thrown at us. You could tell she had a gleam of hope for us but didn't want to say anything just yet since we hadn't spoken with our doctor.

So after the ultrasound, we go back into the waiting room to be called for our appointment with Dr. Nelson, our regular OB/GYN. My blood pressure was taken and it was fine and I gained almost 3lbs in 2 weeks. We get called back to meet with Dr. Nelson. We were armed and ready with our laundry list of questions. For the first time, she admitted, they did not know what was going on or what would happen. She told us that nobody thought we would have made it this far, so something is going right. Dr. Nelson said the boys are stable and not in any distress at the moment. We asked about the steroid shot and she said as soon as I have signs of preterm labor, the shot will be an option for us (YES!). She said the fluid has not increased, which is great news and hopefully it will stay that way. For the first time, we got to discuss long term plans. I started to cry. This was all I wanted. Hope. We discussed what measures can be taken when I go into labor. And not preterm labor... but regular 38 week labor! This was HUGE! She is going to arrange for us to meet with the 3 neonatologists at Carle so we can discuss anything and everything having to do with delivery in our situation. So then we asked, why our case was given 0% chance of survival. She told us that because it is non-immune hydrops and they have a lack of cases to compare us to, their automatic response was 0% chance. I am still baffled by this! Why would you rob us of all of our hope because, you just didn't know. But anyways, she told us that really, the chances of survival could change in an instant so to put a number out there today, wouldn't necessarily mean it would be the same tomorrow. We can live with that... because that means there is HOPE!

I will be in my third trimester right around Valentines Day. So in honor of that, we will be finally, getting the nursery painted. We may even start to plan a baby shower! I've only bought 2 items (a lamp and a sound machine) because we were waiting to find out their genders. When we found out their genders, we found out about the hydrops which lead us to believe we would never get to have our babies, which lead us to not buy anything for them for fear they wouldn't make it. So today I type with happy tears... we have HOPE! Not only do we have hope, but our doctors do too!

Enjoy the cute ultrasound pictures!!

Dallas profile - abdominal fluid seen on the right

Dallas feet! Love this picture!!

Dallas boy parts :-D - Jacob's proud moment!

Carter's Face & Abdomen

Carter's foot :-D

Carter's boy parts - Jacob's other proud moment!

Dallas & Carter's abdomens - black areas inside bellies is fluid